From my earliest years, my parents never celebrated (well to any extent) their wedding anniversary. The only time I can remember witnessing or hearing anything about my mom getting something from dad was the year he sent her a dozen roses at work, and then she had to pay the bill for the flowers. More than most, she was polite to the florist and nice enough to get by with dad in her insistence that he had better not do anything like that again. So, as you can see, I didn't grow up with the most illustrious example of the anniversary celebration, even though my parents were happily married for a little over 30 years when my dad passed away in 2007.
This being said, tomorrow brings a new test to my creativity and my ability to perform in an arena that I have hardly any experience in. Two years ago tomorrow I married my wife in what was surely one of the most unusual weddings ever to take place (I will post another blog just about it for those who haven't been regaled with the story.) Last year we were in the middle of moving and in the aftermath of family tragedy, so I was able to get by without having to make a huge deal of the anniversary, but still at least remember it. This year, I have been getting hints for the past month about flowers, candy, dinner, dancing, and a new Lexus (yeah right) as things that are seemingly a little more than expected to appear at some time tomorrow.
I started this week putting some things together (yes, kinda the last minute) but she got her anniversary present early, her idea, so the biggie was covered. The web has given me a vast library of information to surf to find ideas for little things to do, and places to go eat, etc. On top of that, everyone I know recommends a restaurant to me and tells me how nice it is. ( Thanks mom, I do know that McD's has Double Cheeseburgers for a dollar.) I have muddled through all the ideas and have finally made my plans, reservations, and even considered buying a flower or two and paying for them myself.
NOW, what I don't think is fair is I don't get flowers, I don't get candy, I don't get my dinner bought by her, and when you get down to it, I actually used MY money to pay for MY anniversary present. It seems to me that in the grand scheme of things I am not getting the best end of this deal. But, here is where the big BUT comes in. I am not the one who has to live with me. My neurosis, my sometimes stubborn mindset, my far-fetched ideas and my banging on a piano at 3:00AM. This being said, I think it's all fair and things are even. She has to put up with a lot from me, and most of it would drive anyone crazy, but she shoulders it very well. I think I am the lucky one in the relationship, and that opinion has nothing to do with my self-centered attitude.
I guess as much as I hate to admit it, because it sounds all MUSHY... I love her with all my heart and I am glad that tomorrow we will celebrate two years... and I look forward to many, many more.
P.S. - I could have REALLY done without a mother-in-law, though :-)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
My first blog has to cover a few things, but also be brief, because I need to go to bed to get up EARLY tomorrow. As a lot of people know, I am in the process of producing a CD and have experienced several pitfalls along the way. GOOD NEWS is that it is almost finished and it looks like I am going to meed my deadline of having it finished, duplicated and ready for distribution around the first of the year. So that is a positive point!
Unfortunately, not everything is positive. Tonight, last night and every night for the last year all I have heard about from my television, family, neighbors, friends and anyone I meet on the street is this upcoming election. Everyone is intent on saying that it is going to make history, either by putting a woman in the office of Vice-President or an African-American in the office of President. Now, I believe that every American should exercise their right to vote, and certainly vote their conviction. I have my choice clearly made, but that isn't the purpose of this. My purpose is, with all that we are blessed with in this country, all that our families go through, all that we know, all that we can do and can learn, are we so ignorant that every conversation we have must revolve around a clear and defined "hatred" of one of the candidates.
Finally, I have to hit my favorite topic of all... Halloween. Now I will admit before I start or say anything that I did go trick-or-treating as a child and find nothing wrong with it. I don't believe my kids are going to turn into axe murdering demons for participating in it, and I am not going to hold them inside all night, sprinkling them with Holy water, while blinking my front porch light at any hell-bound child who happens to come to my door. That being said, what are we teaching our kids by letting them do this? Halloween has to be the only day of the year that we allow our kids to go "bum" off the neighbors. Basically, we send them to the neighbor's house in disguise, or at least an attempt at one, in an attempt to get free food (I know it's candy, but it's not a power tool, it's food.) They have a neat little saying and without saying, "please" before or after it, hold out a bag or bucket and want the neighbors to fill it with good candy. Now, they can't be happy that they got food at one house, so they have to hit up every house in the neighborhood and some even other places. Now with church festivals and events like "Boo in the Zoo" they travel out in search of food other places and other days in the same disguise, and get it there too.
You might think I am mean and hate the kids, but here comes the other bad part, and this part is where the moral comes in. We will push our buggy through Wal-Mart or Target and buy these huge sacks of candy, decorations, and even an expensive bowl that is made of orange plastic that we will never use again, in expectation of the vagrant children who will be trespassing in our yards, but the other 364 days of the year, we don't worry about them eating well, having cavities, what they're doing or even think about giving them anything. As a matter of a fact, if a kid came to your house on March 24th (I just picked a random date) and asked for a little food, most of us would think of a quick excuse as to why we couldn't cater to their needs or MAYBE help them out and in the back of our minds wonder what's wrong. Very few of us could say we offered them something or gave freely without a second though, but on Halloween it's OK. So.... to the point.... if you are nice enough to give someone something on Halloween, be that same way every other day of the year. Just because there aren't hoards of children all made up like monsters, super heroes and princesses in front of your house doesn't mean they aren't coming!
P.S. - My mother is the cheapest Halloween candy buyer, so beware of our house. She bought low calorie cookie snack packs at Big-Lots (they have to be 10 years old) to give to kids. I told her she might as well give them a tube of toothpaste and some hemorrhoid cream. She didn't appreciate the humor in that. Plus... she will only give you one little pack... so don't waste your time. If I were hunting, I would seek out the houses where the nice fat people live that give you a BIG candy bar... they buy those (and I know because I am guilty of having done this) in anticipation of having some left over.
Unfortunately, not everything is positive. Tonight, last night and every night for the last year all I have heard about from my television, family, neighbors, friends and anyone I meet on the street is this upcoming election. Everyone is intent on saying that it is going to make history, either by putting a woman in the office of Vice-President or an African-American in the office of President. Now, I believe that every American should exercise their right to vote, and certainly vote their conviction. I have my choice clearly made, but that isn't the purpose of this. My purpose is, with all that we are blessed with in this country, all that our families go through, all that we know, all that we can do and can learn, are we so ignorant that every conversation we have must revolve around a clear and defined "hatred" of one of the candidates.
Finally, I have to hit my favorite topic of all... Halloween. Now I will admit before I start or say anything that I did go trick-or-treating as a child and find nothing wrong with it. I don't believe my kids are going to turn into axe murdering demons for participating in it, and I am not going to hold them inside all night, sprinkling them with Holy water, while blinking my front porch light at any hell-bound child who happens to come to my door. That being said, what are we teaching our kids by letting them do this? Halloween has to be the only day of the year that we allow our kids to go "bum" off the neighbors. Basically, we send them to the neighbor's house in disguise, or at least an attempt at one, in an attempt to get free food (I know it's candy, but it's not a power tool, it's food.) They have a neat little saying and without saying, "please" before or after it, hold out a bag or bucket and want the neighbors to fill it with good candy. Now, they can't be happy that they got food at one house, so they have to hit up every house in the neighborhood and some even other places. Now with church festivals and events like "Boo in the Zoo" they travel out in search of food other places and other days in the same disguise, and get it there too.
You might think I am mean and hate the kids, but here comes the other bad part, and this part is where the moral comes in. We will push our buggy through Wal-Mart or Target and buy these huge sacks of candy, decorations, and even an expensive bowl that is made of orange plastic that we will never use again, in expectation of the vagrant children who will be trespassing in our yards, but the other 364 days of the year, we don't worry about them eating well, having cavities, what they're doing or even think about giving them anything. As a matter of a fact, if a kid came to your house on March 24th (I just picked a random date) and asked for a little food, most of us would think of a quick excuse as to why we couldn't cater to their needs or MAYBE help them out and in the back of our minds wonder what's wrong. Very few of us could say we offered them something or gave freely without a second though, but on Halloween it's OK. So.... to the point.... if you are nice enough to give someone something on Halloween, be that same way every other day of the year. Just because there aren't hoards of children all made up like monsters, super heroes and princesses in front of your house doesn't mean they aren't coming!
P.S. - My mother is the cheapest Halloween candy buyer, so beware of our house. She bought low calorie cookie snack packs at Big-Lots (they have to be 10 years old) to give to kids. I told her she might as well give them a tube of toothpaste and some hemorrhoid cream. She didn't appreciate the humor in that. Plus... she will only give you one little pack... so don't waste your time. If I were hunting, I would seek out the houses where the nice fat people live that give you a BIG candy bar... they buy those (and I know because I am guilty of having done this) in anticipation of having some left over.
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