Trunk or Trick or Treat - NOOOOOO!

This time of the year you can’t ride down the road without seeing two things; political signs and “trunk-o-treat” advertisements. The good thing is, the political signs really are an every-other year thing, but the trunkies come every October. They’re by the roadside, in front of churches and civic organizations and just everywhere the eye can see.

I know in the past I have made a humorous observation about Halloween and how it enables children to go door-to-door and beg people for food. I still believe that I am right, but now instead of going door knocking, they go hang out in a parking lot. I can’t tell you how upsetting this to me. It breaks SO many rules that my mama taught me that I wouldn’t dare do it for the fear of going to hell. Straight down. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

First of all, mama said to never talk to strangers. For the most part, children do not know the trunkies. The parents usually take them to a big church or “rich” neighborhood, so it’s not their own people they are begging from. I was told strangers could hurt you. Strangers are bad. Don’t talk to strangers. But what do the little kids do, but run up to the stranger and yell, “Trick-or-Treat!”

Secondly, where are the strangers? At their car. Mama said never get in or near a stranger’s car, because they could kidnap you. It’s really easy to throw a kid in a side door or trunk and speed away. Sure the kid will be happy, because there’s candy in the trunk, but it usually doesn’t turn out to be all roses. I know this part is not the most likely to happen, but I guess you really could be okay as long as you stay clear of the one-car trunk-o-treat in the abandoned store parking lot.

The third one really gets me. I saw a sign for a trunkie place, a church, advertising to come as a Bible character and asking for no scary costumes. Alrighty then. So, I take it every kid will be in a bathrobe and sandals? Certainly no kid will go nekkid and say they’re Adam or Eve. Now, that’s excitement. How about Jesus telling us to come as we are? Oh well, I don’t guess that congregation got the memo.

The last one that I am going to touch on, again because I found so many, is the fact you are getting something out of the trunk of a car. When I was a kid, if you saw people getting something out of the trunk of a car, then you knew the police were soon to be arriving. It was usually something stolen, illegal, or maybe even a combination of the two. This is South Carolina, so it might even be moonshine in the rear of the old Buick.

So in conclusion, go hit up the rich neighborhoods like any kid should. Go places where they hand out giant Snickers bars and ooey-gooey caramel apples without razor blades in them. Make your kid happy. Don’t make them candy shop out of the trunk of a car. Let them dress up like a vampire and leave the bathrobe at home. Tell the trunkies to give it up and go to iHop…. You’re going to be in Chanticleer.

Tell me what you think. Tell me what you feel.

When someone asked me why I wanted to write a blog, I replied, “Because I can.” After reading the comments a friend of mine made on Facebook this morning about the limitations of what you feel able to do on there, I feel even more certain that the blog is the best place for me. Facebook has its ethics and rules and on my blog, on my website, I can put what I want. Freedom of speech, baby.

Most people don’t get me. My opinions are often at odds with my family, friends and those around me. I love to get a good discussion, nay argument, started. A big part of my principle of thinking is that everyone should be able to consider the possibility that they are wrong.

With that being said, I have something to say this morning. Censorship is wrong. Whether we agree with someone or not, they have the right to think, feel, read and write what they believe. I’m tired of seeing the media telling us what to feel and what to think.

This is where most of you think that I am going to throw all of my guns into the back of my truck and go start another civilization in the woods with 20 of my redneck male friends. NOT. The greatest minds in history have been people who think “outside the box” and aren’t afraid to say or do something about it.

If a friend of yours is doing something wrong, instead of babying them and acting polite, it’s best to tell them that they’re wrong and set them straight. They may be mad at you for a while, but they will appreciate your honesty in the end. If they don’t, then at least you know you did the right thing.

My wife and I have a relationship founded on love, but based on candor. If she asks me if a dress makes her look fat, and it does, I will tell her. She appreciates that about me and I appreciate that she tells me when I wear a dress that makes me look fat, too. A friend of ours almost cringed when I told her something once. He said that it would have put him in the “dog house.” I told him that it was better to be honest with someone than to have lied to them because it’s polite. It may sound cold on some occasions, but overall Evelyn and I know that we’re going to be honest with each other. I don’t tell people I like their clothes if I don’t. I don’t tell them their song was good, or that their food is delicious if it isn’t. Sure it’s nice, they say, but then I have always been told it’s not nice to lie. So I don’t censor my opinion for the sake of having good manners.

I also don’t believe in religious censorship. I am a Christian and as a part of that, I have certain beliefs that are centered on the sacrificial death of Christ to redeem me of my sins. I don’t believe that the King James Version of the Bible is the only thing I should read and believe. There have been so many different translations, and during several of man’s attempts of moving things around, some minute details could have gotten a little “reversed.” That’s the reason I don’t try to hang on every word like some pastors do. They analyze the verse word for word looking for hidden meanings. I read it and understand it, but I focus on the biggie. Christ came as God said He would. He died on the Cross in order to save us from sin. He rose again. If we believe in Him, His Resurrection, and ask forgiveness of our sins, then He will forgive us.

Take a look at yourself and a look at the people around you. Is it more important that you smile and play nice, or that you tell people the truth? Don’t censor yourself.

There’s more and more I could use as an example, but I think you get my point.

Peace-Out from Piedmont.

A man is... A MAN!

My soapbox is about to get pounded into the ground. The more I watch television, read the news, browse the Internet, and in general observe life, the more I am convinced that men today, for the most part, have forgotten how to be men.

Mind you, I don’t advocate clubbing potential mates over the head and dragging them back to your cave, but what I am seeing just doesn’t cut it. Almost three-quarters of the guys out there that should be of age to be called a man aren’t deserving of the classification. They have their pants below the equator, with their underwear hanging out. They have oversized shirts with giant oversized plated jewelry. They look greasy and clearly need bathing. If they do manage do present themselves decently, then their attitude and mannerisms quickly kill any semblance of gentlemanly behavior.

I come from an old Southern family that believes in certain traditions. My parents taught me that a boy grows up to be a man, marries a woman (and only a woman) and accepts responsibility for her and their family. I am not saying that he can dictate their lives, only that chivalry and honor should have its place, and he should protect his family as a whole. To that end, it disturbs me to read and hear about “men” who are, for the most part, a cause of their family’s suffering and disgrace. They don’t acknowledge their roles as husbands and fathers. They don’t acknowledge their responsibilities to society.

Of all the things I learned from my dad in the twenty-eight years I got to spend with him, protecting and guarding your family was right up there. I can’t recall even one time that he didn’t step in if someone or something happened to my mom or me. Whether we were right or wrong, he stuck by us and defended his family.

That being said, I am sick, sick, sick and tired of some of the men we have out there acting like fools and causing the ones of us who take our jobs seriously to suffer for their stupidity. Grow up. Life isn’t a video game that you can play when you want and turn off when you don’t. Model yourself after real men instead of these fools on TV. You’ll be glad you did and you’ll have something to be proud of at the end of the day. Treat your wife/girlfriend with respect and be a father to your kids, whether you still have a good relationship with their mom or not. The world has enough sperm donors. Be the kind of person that your wife and kids can be proud of.

I can't hear you!

I have never had good luck with the disabled. It all started when I was 18. I was in the Walmart parking lot in Easley, when I noticed this man walking toward me waving his hand and presumably trying to say something to me. I yelled to him that I didn’t hear him. He came even closer, still waving, and I repeated my lack of understanding. About that time, with dozens of people watching, he gets to me, and is wearing a sign that says, “Deaf and Mute. Please help. Candy $1.00.” He had a little apron on with candy bars in it, and was trying to make money selling them. I felt so ashamed and embarrassed at my goof that I gave the man a twenty-dollar bill and refused the candy.

From a distance, things are not always what they seem. Sometimes we need to get closer and look closer before we open our mouth.

The best part of waking up......

When I was a little boy, I could often be found on a fall day sitting in the yard swing or on the back porch with my aunt, “Nanny” Louise, next door. Even though I was a child of about four or five, she would always share a cup of coffee with me. My parents didn’t mind, but some in the family thought it was horrible for a child to drink coffee. Whether it did any harm or not, I guess is up to interpretation.

I remember fondly that she would make sure it was cool enough not to burn my mouth, by either adding a small amount of cold water or milk. We would sit outside and of course I would talk endlessly about anything that came to mind. It was in those days that I found deeper affection for her and a new love of coffee, both of which I still carry today.

As I grew a little older I would make coffee at my house and my dad and I would share a pot, since mom didn’t care too much for it. He liked his black but I needed a little cream. Neither of us took sugar. He too enjoyed swinging while enjoying a cup. Sometimes we would drink in the living room, the dining room, and yes he would even sometimes carry his with him…… well, you know. (I didn’t go there with him.)

During a trip to Atlanta, I discovered Starbucks Coffee. I fell in love with the variations and the possibilities that they made possible within a cup. All of my life I had found myself shackled by the limitations of what a cup of Folgers could do. I was more than in ecstasy. It was there I first experienced an iced coffee and so many other treats. I almost feel as if recanting this story is somehow risqué, because of the unusual flood of emotion I can find in its memories.

I remember buying beans and bringing them home and brewing them in the Bunn. The smell was so different. I had to share with friends and family and just used them all as quick as could be.

Today, I consider myself a bit of a coffee connoisseur. I enjoy sitting on my porch, though mostly alone, on a brisk fall evening gathering my thoughts and watching the sun setting behind the beautiful trees along the river. I still like my coffee with a touch of cream. No sugar. I figure I’m sweet enough.

Welcome Back, Dwayne

I have some good news for everyone that thought I was dead. I am not. Here lately I have been reading more than writing on Facebook, so I decided to give the website a re-vamp and consolidate with my blog.

Over the next few weeks I will be posting lots of interesting stories. The elections are coming up and of course I get to make my commentary about all of the candidates. I’ve got a few topics I am working on right now like religion, parental issues, diet and exercise and tons of other fun stuff, but you have to stay tuned to find out what will be unfolded in October.

I welcome your feedback and hope you will subscribe to the blog so maybe we will learn a little bit about each other here in my little corner of the Internet.

Dwayne